You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're like the curious george of whores
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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