My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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