i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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