Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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