So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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