I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
