I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
third nipple confirmed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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