You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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