CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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