He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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