am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could fuck to npr.
I need water and some morals
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