i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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