Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
