That's intense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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