woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
