im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
