I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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