Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
