Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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