Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
