Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
