bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
