I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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