you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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