So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
