do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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