how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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