that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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