Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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