girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
