My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
