So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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