im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
