just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
