i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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