I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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