Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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