I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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