Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
