Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
birth control should be required to get into college
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
