Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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