their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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