OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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