You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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