I want to stick my p in your. b.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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