so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize