She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
