"it" just moved
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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