what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
