we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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