operation harelip BJ is a go
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
