I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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