How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
