Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
