Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
