my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
