Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
