I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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