idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
