Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
