This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
