if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
