we have pet lesbian snakes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
