I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen