this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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