Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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